Learn from your children

Dear Zazz: Last September, my three children were apprehensiveabout starting at a new school. I was nervous for them, too, so whenI made their lunches, I took a small bite out of each of theirsandwiches.

At dinner that night, they asked about the bites in thesandwiches. I explained that when they ate lunch, I wanted them toknow I was thinking about them.

Well, recently, I had a meeting to attend for work and needed tobring lunch. To my surprise, when I opened my sandwich, it had threelittle bites taken out of it.

Over dinner, the kids told me that they did that because theywanted me to know they loved me and were thinking about me. It reallyis the little things that count.

B.M.

Dear B.M.: That's a very sweet story. Biting each other'ssandwiches during flu season might not be the best idea, of course,but it's always nice to know your loved ones have you in their minds.You've redefined the phrase: "Love at first bite."

Dear Zazz: You'd asked readers to share clues that their childrengave them that helped them become better parents. Here's my story.

My husband and I have been going through some rough times, and Iknow the kids have picked up on it.

This really hit me last Friday, when I came home from work after midnight. All three of my kids-ages 13, 9 and 7 were asleep togetherin my oldest daughter's bed. One had a Bible in her hand. The CDplayer was playing soft church music.

In that instant, I realized what had been going on. They werepraying that we'd stick together as a family. Seeing that scene hashelped me be a better parent. We are . . .

WORKING ON THE MARRIAGE

Dear Working: Knowing that your children are praying for yourfamily will give you and your husband strength. Here's hoping yourmarriage makes it through this rough spot.

Dear Zazz: Children need to know they're the most important thingto you. Pretty much anything can wait while you read a book to themor play a game.

"Just a minute" is a common phrase in most households. But I'veseen the rejection on my children's faces when I say that phrase onetoo many times.

Obviously, you don't want to jump at your children's every whim.But they gain great self-esteem if there are times when you juststop what you're doing and give them your attention.

K.B.

STILL MORE CLUES:

Machele Williams, Chicago: "My 9-year-old daughter said to me,`When you want me to do something, could you ask me rather than justtelling me?' "

February Tate, Lemont: "My 3-year-old was thirsty, so I gave hersome milk. She then threw a tantrum, purposely spilled her milk, anddemanded orange juice. I raised my voice to her, and she put herlittle index finger to her lips and said, `Shhhh.' I took a deepbreath and realized I could have asked her what she wanted to drinkinstead of just assuming. She's teaching me to be a better, morepatient parent."

Elizabeth Pendergast: "My 4-year-old daughter has asked me to tellher more often about the things she does right than about the thingsshe does wrong. She is a beautiful, wise young girl. I have listenedto her."

Write Zazz, Box 3455, Chicago 60654. Or e-mail: Zazz@suntimes.com